I was raised in a humble, modest home, with two wonderful parents as my anchors and role models. There was, and still is, a strong dedication to each other, faith in one another, and always lots of love. Through this, I learned the important fundamentals of family.
I never needed anything, and learned that the things I wanted were to be earned with hard work and dedication, not just handed over. Through this, I learned appreciation.
I learned to be happy with what God gave me, with the hand that I was dealt, and with who I am. Through this, I learned self love.
I was taught to choose my words wisely, to be polite and respectful to all around me, and to always offer a kind word. Through this I learned humility.
I was also taught to stand up for myself when needed, and to never allow people to tear me down; to never be a doormat. Through this I learned self respect.
I also learned to appreciate people for who they are, good and bad, and never demean anyone. To walk a mile in their shoes. Through this, I learned acceptance.
These are the core values that I am proud to say I still own.
Recently... I was reminded of HOW important these values are and how proud I am to be able to say I have them instilled in me. It seems that there are people out there that will judge me for what I "don't have", (materialistically) and put me into a category that they find distasteful, socially inadequate, and downright "hillbilly". Therein lies the subject matter of today's blog.
Hold on tight... some crazy may be coming out today...
I recently had the opportunity to sit down with a real life Southern Debutante! Well my oh my!!! (Can you feel the droll accent, and thick sarcasm, just oozing off this very page????) I should have felt indebted to her for taking time out of her schedule to talk to a commoner such as myself. However... those feelings were never stirred in me. Although most of her comments were not directed right at me... they reflected all that I am (or am not, for that matter) and were very offensive and rude.
I did gain a little education in all that I've been "lacking" in my meek existence.
For Example...
*My Daddy does not own a large plantation, does not have lots and lots of very old money, nor is he now on his fourth wife. He cannot set me up with the owner of a very well known magazine, or the owner of a large, very well known underwear company, or even a very well known athlete. (He also did not teach me how to name drop so frequently.) Therefore, I never had the proper experiences needed to lead a fulfilling life. Hmmm...
*My Daddy did not tell me that I should go ahead and have a "starter marriage" to get it out of my system, so long as I have a side dish as well...and that side must own a summer house somewhere exotic. Apparently, it's very rare (not to mention illogical) that two people stay together, faithfully, for a lifetime.
*I learned that being a "good Catholic" means crossing your fingers while taking your wedding vows, looking down your nose at those "less fortunate", swearing like a sailor (ok, well that one I DO qualify for), and having no regard for your fellow man... Interesting. Guess I'll never be Catholic. Bummer.
*I should not be happy with going to Red Lobster or Olive Garden for my birthday, as these are middle class places and should be below me. I should be demanding to go somewhere fancy, and settle for nothing less. Epic fail on my part, here... I love Olive Garden. And Schlotski's Deli. I'm f'ed.
*I should not be spending $500.00 a week at Maurices, Eddie Bauer, or The Buckle. I mean... really?!?!?! At least spend that $500.00 a week at Bloomingdales, Macy's...and that's if I HAVE to bargain shop. How sad. That amount is what I spend on clothes for myself in a span of 4 years. Fail again.
*I should be spending $500.00 a week on lingerie. Two years living in France would teach me that it doesn't matter what I'm wearing on the outside, it's what's underneath my clothes that matters. Oh... and if I haven't lived in France for two years, I have no idea how to properly seduce my husband. OK...first off... I thought I was supposed to be spending big money on fancy clothes at fancy stores... and second... what the hell have I been doing with the husband all this time, then? Damn it... I'm confused.
*I should feel ashamed that I like Sketchers and Capri's, and that I have certain little "OCD" aspects in my personality (the way I hang my clothes in a certain order, or the way my silverware sits in a drawer, for instance). These things make me a frumpy little house wife that no one will come to respect. So my cut off sweats and Sketchers during the summer time are not cute? Shit...
*If I do not have a college education, I will never get anywhere in my life that is substantial, respectable, or fulfilling, as I am just a retard with no real direction, and no opportunities for furthering my life. ok, let's see... mother to four fantastic kids, loyal wife, built two houses so far (just me and the hubby and our own hands), office manager for two construction companies...and no college degree. Yeah.. sure. I'm retarded. Pfftt... No direction here.
While sitting there, listening to this "lady" go off about money, material things, money, standards, money... high society hoiety-toiety bullshit... it took everything I had to be polite and not say all that I wanted to. This is where my values came in handy. (Yes, mom and dad... you would have been proud.)
Today, however.... there are a few things I need to say to clear the air. You said your peace... now it's my turn.
In all honesty... I feel sorry for you. You have no idea what it means to really live. I don't care that you've lived in France and Africa. I don't give a shit that you play polo and hockey, and hunt foxes. I couldn't care less that you spent $50,000 farking dollars on a "prestigious college degree". I REALLY don't care that you were a Southern Debutante and have an extremely Wealthy Daddy. None of this bullshit meant a thing to me in regards to my first impression/opinion of you. What did make an impression was your lack of a moral compass. As far as I am concerned... you are an ignorant bitch with very little class, and a pretty sad existence.
You see... while us "South Dakota Hillbillies" were learning how to cook and clean, you were probably sippin tea and had a maid (or five) to do all of it for you. I bet you treated each and every one of those maids like shit, as they were lower class than you. The way I can tell?? It's all in the way you treated our waitress. Been there... I know how that works.
While us "poor folk" were working our asses off, going to high school and holding two jobs to be able to afford and extra $100.00 worth of new clothes for school, you had your hand out to your daddy, waiting for him to hand over the credit card. I'll bet anything that you were one of those girls in school that looked down your nose at people like me that wore JCPenney and Kohl brands. Brands make the people, right?.
It also seems to me that you have no idea what it means to really be close to someone. To REALLY love someone because of WHO they are... what they help you to be, just by being themselves. You seem to look for the opportunities that they will bring you, and ways that you can change them to be different people... better people, living up to your high standards. You miss the unique gifts that people really are, and that... to me... is shameful.
So... Miss Southern what-the-*f*-ever... You go ahead and put me into your little category of white trash, middle class, hillbilly girl. That's fine. That's me. That's who I am. And damn am I proud of it! I don't pretend to be something I am not. I never try to put on airs, nor do I ever try to make people feel that they are less than me by building myself up so high, right in front of them, with no regard to their feelings.
I can look in the mirror every day, even in my Sketchers and Capri's, and know that I am a genuinely good person. I have good morals and values. I know what hard work is and will NEVER spend $500.00 a week on clothes... no matter where it is... for I truly know the value of a dollar. I have a clear conscience. I have an amazing family and amazing kids that will also learn these core values that I hold so dear. I treat people fairly... with love and respect... and know what it means to have that come back to me three fold. I highly doubt you can say that about yourself.
The only gratitude or kindness that I can offer you is this...
Thank you for reminding me that my roots as a South Dakota girl are strong, and deep, and after our little meeting, they are preponderantly more recognized and loved. With you as an example... I'm so glad I wasn't born rich.
Blessed Be.
No comments:
Post a Comment