~Comfort Zones~

Lately, I've realized that I have become rather "fixed" in this little bubble that I have put around myself and my life.  Not doing too many things that would disrupt the norm of the household.  I also cannot seem to relax anymore.  I mean... really relax.  Take things as they come. Enjoy the moment.  For example...

 This is the first time my children's feet ever touched the ocean.  The first time they got the chance to run into that wonderful tide and feel the presence of something so much larger than themselves, and yet a part of themselves. 

What was my first reaction? 

"It's too cold.  I don't think we should go swimming today."

WHAT!?!?!? WHUCK is my farking problem??? Seriously!?  This is their chance, Jess, to feel that power, that wonder... WHY ON EARTH would you not allow them to do that???

So they get a cold.

So we'll have runny noses on the plane on the way home. 

Big friggin deal!!! 

LET THEM LIVE!!!

Thank God I was reminded to let go and let God... and, well....

We had such a wonderful time, once I eased up. How sad that I thought I had to hinder them that way. Thank you, Dave, for keeping me balanced on that one, and reminding me to quit being scared of jellyfish and stingrays lurking in the tide, but instead to watch their memories unfold.

This is what I'm talking about, though.  This example has become "my way".  I am so busy worrying about the possibilities instead of the outcomes.  I never used to be this way.  I lived in the moment.  I did what felt right, what felt real, what felt good.  Now, I overthink things to the point that nothing seems fun once I'm done thinking.  Another name for this is worry-wart.  Dammit. When did I become the non-fun one?

I don't want to look back in 10 years and say... "Well, gee... I could have, should have, done that when I was younger."  What is stopping me?  Why not now? Why do I hold back? What am I scared of?

Time to stop over thinking and start doing.

Time to write my Bucket List.

Time to find out who I really am, and what I really want to do...

Time to allow myself to have some fun...