You see this guy? This guy has been stalking me since I was 12 years old.
He would call me all the time, racking up HUGE phone bills (as long distance phone calls used to be super expensive, back in the "old days"), just so he could talk to me about all the silly little nonsenses of life, and pick my brain.
He would steal his dad's truck, just to come steal 10 minutes of kisses from me in junior high.
He called me beautiful when I couldn't see it for myself.
He forced me to see my own self worth when I thought I had none.
He has carved his own path in life, leaving my little community at 16, so he could learn a trade that would later help him to build a career. Graduating Job Corps and getting his GED, he had three children with another woman, making me believe that he was "the one that got away".
He stood by those three beautiful babies, doing whatever it took to make sure they had food, clothing, shelter, and love, regardless of their biological mothers shortcomings. He watched as that woman walked away from her own flesh and blood, and didn't flinch when he realized that he was a single father of three. Instead of bowing to defeat, he stood tall and made sure his children were taken care of.
Then, in another "stalkish" move, he tracked down my phone number after 5 years of no communication (I suppose having and raising babies CAN be a bit busy), and asked to meet. The rest, as they say, is history.
I have been blessed with being this guy's wife for almost 17 years now. How he has put up with me for this long is amazing to me. He's a saint.
When I get down on myself, he gives me a shake of the head and tells me to "stop". He reminds me that I am not my own punching bag.
When I would get uneasy about my parenting skills of our four beautiful babies, he would give me a smirk and tell me in his own subtle ways that "we are doing the best we can, and that's all we can do."
This guy gets up every day and goes to a job that beats the hell out of his body (and some days, his spirit as well), so we can live the lifestyle that we do. He has been a business owner for 15 years, and has been successful every single day, as his family has NEVER gone without. The super amazing thing about this, is he very seldom complains about "having to work". All he asks for is a back rub from time to time.
When I started having problems with drinking, he stood by and took the abuse I dished out. He would try his hardest to "talk me down" and eventually, he knew when to bow out, and painfully watched me "beat the shit out of" myself and others around me, always hoping that I would regain control of this monster, and gently reminding me that I turn into a different person when I drink, and things needed to change. Even when I didn't want to hear it.
This guy was brave enough to stand in front of me with a mirror (of sorts) and help me to come to terms with the fact that I am an alcoholic. Instead of chastising me and belittling me, he took my hand and said "I'm here" and "you can do this". He didn't leave. He didn't run. He stayed and he believed in me. I'm not gonna lie... I didn't give him much reason to. I was a mean fucking drunk. Why he stays, I still am in awe of ... and I will forever be grateful.
This guy still celebrates my little milestones with me. 60 days sober. 120 days sober. 1 year sober. Now, if the Gods (and my willpower) are willing, I will soon celebrate 2 years sober. My biggest celebration every day, though, is the fact that this man still stands at my side.
When my washer goes to shit, he does whatever it takes to get me a new one, and even shows me how to use it the way the salesman told him to.
When my nerves are shot, and he sees I need a break, he does whatever it takes to get me away from it all, taking me on little vacations to renew my spirit and to reconnect with each other.
When I am down, he brings me flowers and hot tea. But, never on holidays that flowers are expected. No no. It must be an off the wall, no special day occurrence, for I am different and don't need a holiday to get flowers.
He buys me weed eaters with it's own gas jug and oil supply, because he knows I enjoy my summertime lawnwork and gardening.
He brings home beautiful scraps of wood from jobsites, because he thinks I could make something crafty out of them. He believes in my creativity.
He sends me text messages out of the blue, telling me he thinks I'm pretty.
He has the most wonderful laugh in this entire universe.
He has the squishiest heart and the most wonderfully compassionate soul that I have ever come across (but he won't let you know that), and is willing to give anyone a hand up if they need it.
He is truly one of the greatest fathers out there, bar none. The loyalty and love he has for his children is beyond compare, and will forever put me in awe. When I see him look at his kids, when I hear them interact, when I watch him hurt when they hurt, laugh when they laugh, support when they need... it just makes my heart overflow.
I know, without any uncertainty, that I am the woman I am today ~because~ of the man that he is. He helps me find my happy. He helps remind me to strive for what I really want. He makes ~me~ a better ~me~. He is my saving grace. He is my more. My Forever.
I am an overflowing mess of grateful today, and needed to put it out there, in the universe. I will work every day, for the rest of my life, to let him know that he is appreciated and admired, and I will forever count him as the greatest blessing of my life.
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